Friday, December 31, 2010

2011...Bring it

I have been internally debating [because it's such a huge deal, ya know] whether or not I should do a "top moments of 2010" or "year in review" post to commemorate the New Year.

I decided to go with...No.

Honestly, I just could not come up with enough fabulous and exciting material to thrill you all with. Plus, after reading Naomi's year in review over at Rockstar Diaries, I realized that she will put any other New Years post to great shame.

Instead, I am choosing to reflect on how far I've come since the beginning of this year because 2010 was a giant rollercoaster of emotions and uncertainty.

In January, I was a jobless college graduate living with my parents and feeling like an absolute failure. I'm a planner and a dreamer, and that was NOT how I envisioned by life. I had to stand by as my best friends all got jobs and Aaron was being his usual impressive self. I was low as low can be.

At the end of the month I got a job in College Station basically being a glorified secretary. Once again, not how I planned things for myself, but it was a job! Being in a college town, with a college boyfriend, but not being a college student myself was...interesting. I think it caused me to revert back to age 21. This time was probably hardest on my relationship with the ginger.

Fast forward to October, when I finally got a job in Houston that had "marketing" in the title.

So that's where I am now. Houstonite. Apartment dweller. Employee of a ridiculously large company. Payer of all bills. Cat mother. Girlfriend.

I'm still a planner and a dreamer. This can be both a good and a bad thing. The planner in me says that I'm almost on track. I'm almost there. Do I absolutely love my job? No. Is it a good job? Yes. It can lead to other possibilities, so I am thankful for this.

The dreamer in me is confused. She doesn't understand why she's here. In this city. In this job. Why isn't she having that amazing adventure she always planned on? Always counted on. Some time ago, the always lovely and eloquent Meg [Meg, I am almost certain it was you but apologies if I'm randomly crediting this to you when it was not!] had a quote on her blog that upon reading, felt like I had been hit over my head with a ton of bricks:

sometimes i can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives i'm not living

-jonathan safran foer
 
That says it all. Does anyone else ever feel like that? Like you're just not QUITE where you're supposed to be, and you yearn for all the things you COULD be doing?
 
 
Sorry y'all, I've done it again and gone all emotastic. New Years posts are supposed to be encouraging and spunky and fun! I apologize for whatever the hell mine turned into.
 
REGARDLESS. I have fine expectations for 2011.
Getting to know Houston better. Making my apartment a home. Learning to enjoy my job. Or perhaps getting a completely different job [one never knows]. Spending more time with my friends. Finally learning how to use my camera. A BOYFRIEND WHO WILL FINALLY GRADUATE. A trip to Europe with said boyfriend. My maiden voyage to Las Vegas with friends who will make the trip unforgettable. The impending marriage of one of my besties [Ronnie...I'm counting on 11/11/11 :)]
 
Doing FABULOUS things.
 
So here's to 2011, my friends!
 
I sincerely hope it is one of the best for all of us.

7 comments:

andrea said...

2011 IS THE YEAR OF YOUNG GINGER BOYFRIENDS FINALLY GRADUATING! And so what if we'll be 24 by then? I feel younger just thinking about it.

Happy News Years Eve, Alex! :)

Diana Smith said...

I wish you would have done a year in review haha I put stupid silly things on mine, but it still happened haha

Natalie said...

Great quote-- can definitely relate.

It's a perfect time to start fresh and re-charge. Hope your New Year is wonderful!

kara lynn said...

yes i honestly love this. and i love your honesty.

happy new years dear!

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Great post! sounds like 2011 will be fantastic :)

Katie Jo said...

I feel like that EVERY. DAY.

But I'm the only one who can change it. 2011 is going to be my year. I'm going to make sure of it.

I'm just not willing to settle for the life I have now, granted, it's not awful, it's just not where I'd like to be.

We'll both get there =)

Caroline Henley said...

you know what Alex? you had a rough 2010, but I think you kicked it's ass. you went through some stuff no one wants to go through but you ended the year in a great place. here's to 2011 where there will be MANY more fun times and MANY more toasts! :)

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