Saturday, April 30, 2011

The case for royalty

After watching hours of royal wedding footage yesterday, I came to the conclusion that my friends and I would either make superb royals, or truly terrible ones.

Why we should probably go ahead and find princes to marry:
1. We are experienced champagne drinkers.
2. We appreciate fancy things.
3. Our British accents are above average.
4.  We are funny enough to make the queen laugh.
5. We could definitely pull off the crazy hat/fascinator look.

Why royalty would not suit us and we'd be banned from Buckingham Palace:
1. We [and by we, I mean Courtney] enjoy PDA too much.
2. We [and by we I mean Courtney and me] show too much emotion over everything.
3. Our attempts to make the queen laugh would most likely be deemed too inappropriate.
4. We might end up on tabloid covers looking like we had a bit too much fun after a night out.
5. We [and by we I mean me] would want to use our royal influence and possession of massive square footage to rescue an inordinate amount of animals.

So, really, we have a 50/50 shot of dominating this gig.

Hey, Harry, Caroline is single. Wanna come to Texas?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I've got a fever...and the only cure is...the royal wedding

You like how extra large I made this?

In about 16 hours, the biggest event in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD will occur.
Ok, so I exaggerate.
But seriously, for an anglophile like myself, this is HUGE.
I cannot wait to witness [later in the evening on my trusty DVR] the marriage of Prince William to this woman who I love/hate. What will her dress look like? Will she go for young and chic or royal and elegant? What will the guests wear? How many huge hats will we be able to count? How many members of the royal family will we perceive to be drunk? How hot will Harry look?
So many things to look forward to!
Call me a sap, but I can't wait for their kiss on the balcony. I'll be sure to have many tissues at the ready.

Why, oh why, can't I be British?


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

What if

Last night I had a wonderful catch-up call with my dear friend, Aisha. She's one of the coolest people I know. I mean, the girl is in a band that has toured Europe several times. She plays the violin and guitar and has been known to sing. And, most of all, she's living out her dream. Jealous yet?

We pondered over whether or not it is TRULY possible to have it all- love, success, and fulfilled goals/dreams. And at what point are you ok with sacrificing one for the other? Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I find myself doubting one really can have it all.

If I were living out my dreams, they'd look a little something like this:







Can't go without a shameless plug for the band Aisha is in. Go check out Balmorrhea NOW!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I'm a fan of Easter because...

Images like this:

Dying eggs to look like this:
[ok well not exactly like this. My Easter egg dying skills are pretty rudimentary.]

A sudden explosion in my pantry of chocolates shapped like this:

But most certainly, not creepy ass bunnies like these:
Seriously, this gives me nervous chills. I can't help but imagine that 1)They are evil, supernatural devil bunnies or 2)There are pervy old men in those suits who just like children to sit on their laps.

I am off on Good Friday [thanks, Corporate America], so I will bid you a happy Easter today. Dye those eggs, eat too much eggy chocolate, and stay away from questionable dressed up bunnies!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Scenes from a high school journal AKA what the hell was wrong with me

Being forced to clean out your childhood room is a sure fire way to discover cringe-worthy items that make you question whether your teenage years were actually just a mild form of torture.
 Prime example: high school journals.

Your eyes do not deceive you. This freshman year journal does ineed have BSB on the cover. Holla!

Let me dazzle you with some excerpts from the life and times of a 14-16 year old Alex. These were shared with my Fab Four girls over a bottle of Moscato, and let me tell you, the Moscato was a necessary choice.
[Names have been changed to celebrity monikers to protect the innocent]

"And when I stand near him, he stares at me. Maybe he thinks I'm pretty just like I think he's hot. Yeah, Matthew Morrison is so hot."
"Info on Matthew Morrison:..." [and I proceeded to list out every bit of information that I had stalkerishly obtained about him].
"Yesterday Maegan and I devised code names for Matthew Morrison and Michael Vartan: the marmoset and the polar bear, respectively." [don't lie, you know you had nicknames for guys in high school]
"Sooo yesterday I did something totally out of character for me. I cassually said hi to a guy I like. Oh my gosh." [OH MY GOD, REALLY???]
"Well, the marmoset spoke to me. Guess what he said?? 'EXCUSE ME.' AAAHHH!!" [don't worry, I know how pathetic this is]
"Marmoset stepped on my shoe on Monday." [shoot me now]
Maybe there's an entry in which I cut out a picture of the "polar bear" into the shape of a heart and taped it in my journal. Maybe.
"All of my friends are silly like me, but this is my less 'dirty' group." [this is incredibly ironic to me today, seeing as how I sometimes have the humor of a 14 year old boy]
"I can't stop thinking about him. Every thought I have is of Michael Vartan." [I crushed real hard, y'all]
"The Marmoset is now the Baboon. Someone said his nickname too loudly when he was close by."
"I've decided that I want to go to Yale and major in film studies." [HA!]
"Ugh, Nic Cage has been giving me the most masturbatory looks. I"m afraid he's gonna ask me out again. Geez." [yeah, I described looks as masturbatory. Points for me.]
"The lifeguard is really hot. He was squirting us with water guns. He's really hot. Ha. I said that once." [I was so eloquent]
And then there are many pages dedicated to the crush I had on Ronnie's now fiance [yep] and how irritated I was when it became obvious that he was totally in love with her. So in a round about way, I am reponsible for their engagement. We can't help but laugh at this 8 years later.

Actual journal page. This is pretty quality, as it both laments having an unintelligent Chemistry lab partner AND has a drawing of a squirrel. You wish you could have been my friend in high school.
So after perusing those little gems, please join me in a big ol' "WHAT THE HELL?!"
First of all, can we say boy crazy much?? But mine was a dangerous combination: boy crazy yet boy INEPT.
Don't worry, one of those celebrities up there [who also had an animal nickname] went on to be a boyfriend for a couple of years. So I guess I eventually did develop [novice] flirting skills.
Second, I cannot get over how incredibly immature I was. I know I was just a freshman/sophomore in high school, but man. What makes me laugh is that I thought I was so cool, sophisticated, and mature. But I'm pretty sure someone possessing those qualities would not excitedly write about a boy she had NEVER TALKED TO stepping on her shoe at school. Shit.

Third, thank GOD the friends I talk about/experience my embarrassing life with in these journals are still my best friends today. They loved me as a dork and they love me now [still a dork, let's be honest].

Finally, as horrifying as some of these finds were, I can't help but miss the SIMPLICITY of those times. Sure, I may have thought that having a huge crush on a guy who barely knew I existed was a big damn deal and would probably damage me for life. False. 15 year old Alex, there is much worse out there. I think we can all appreciate the carefree ways and lack of responsiblity those early years in high school brought.

What I have learned:
I'm still weird.
I still can't flirt to save my life, so thank goodness I don't have to.
I still give people nicknames.
I still stalkerishly obtain information about people if necessary.

High school journals, thanks for the laugh. And for showing me that in the end, I think I turned out just fine.

Clear Cru for life!

It may be 1 am, I just have to give a quick shout out to three of the best friends I have ever had.

We make a point to see each other every time I come home, and this weekend was no exception. In fact, they just left my house after a few hours of laughing too much, reminiscing over my embarrassing journals, and speculating on the lives of others.
Then it hit us that this may be the last time we're all together for a while. Ronnie is moving out of town with her fiance, Haritha is busy in med school, Swampy works and goes to school, and I'm in Houston. We know we'll always be close, but it's a little sad watching us grow up.

At any rate, I love these girls and don't know what I would do without them. Can't wait to see where our lives take us. We've been through absolutely everything together, and I have no doubt there will be so much more.

*Title courtesy of what we called ourselves in high school. We didn't drink, smoke the herbs, cuss, or do anything mildly naughty. And actually, we're real proud of that.*

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A very belated birthday shout out

Happy [belated] birthday, Maegan!

Yes, this is us at our senior prom.

I'm sorry that spending my weekend out in a pasture in the middle of nowhere kept me from calling you on April 9!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

That time I spent my weekend in a pasture

For the record, two things I am not a huge fan of: beer and country music.
Ok, I lie. I actually really do like some country music.
BUT, you will never find me combining the two.

Except for last weekend.

Enter Chilifest. It's country, trashy, and outrageous. It's also a crucial piece to the Texas A&M college experience.
Not that I'm still in college or anything, but we all know how I love re-living it.

This was only my second time to partake, and I must say it will be my last. I love a weekend where you can just toss all your inhibitions to the side and go a little crazy, but I can only drink so much beer + lemonade [try it, it's an excellent fix for someone who hates beer] and eat so much sausage and be pelted by so much dust.

Maybe the pictures will explain a little better than my words can.

Some pretty awesome ladies.

Yes, that is a trojan horse-like contraption.

Not your cup of tea? Not exactly mine either. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a blast.

*Note to self: Start blogging about classier things in order to avoid having everyone think I am a raging alcoholic or Lindsay Lohan wannabe*

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

What happens in Vegas...

Watch out Vegas, HERE WE COME!!

Girls summer trip to Vegas has officially been booked!
July 14-17 will contain nights of staying out until the sun rises, buying way too many over priced drinks, and dancing until our feet fall off. I am so excited that I can barely contain myself. Plus, this will be my maiden voyage to Sin City! You better believe that a list has already been started of things we aim to accomplish while we're there. EXCITEMENT!!!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Curiosity killed the cat...or slashed up my arm. Whatever you prefer.

Sometimes, my love for all cats lands me in situations like this:

What I learned this weekend:
Do not pick up sweet stray cats. They hate cars and will use their wolverine-like claws on you when vehicles pass by.
Will this stop me from petting/picking up any stray cat I have access to? No. But it has put me out of commission for a couple of weeks at least.

Friday, April 1, 2011

All my Friday brain can produce is this list of random things that may or may not be funny or interesting

Happy Friday, blog world!

Want to know what I've been doing at work this week? Aside from falling asleep on my keyboard yesterday, I have been converting almost 700 [if there was a way to capitalize numbers, I would certainly do that right now] Word documents into PDF. Take a minute to wrap your brain around that. At least you have a brain. I fear mine has turned to complete mush after such a mindless task. In my apartment, my college degree is sobbing.


Here is a little listy of items that have been occupying my mush brain/shennanigans I have been up to as of late:

  1. Devising ways to get famous. I'm one of those types who secretly YEARNS to be famous and get constant attention. Cat's out of the bag. Fame-attaining ideas this week have included: Caroline and I capturing the Bronx Zoo Cobra and formulating a kick ass plan to make the Houston Rockets a top notch basketball team again. Both would undoubtedly secure us instant fame and appearances on morning talk shows.
  2. Last night I was forced to walk a mile down a busy street in Houston all by my little lonesome. In a fairly short skirt. And red lip gloss. Fret not, I have not decided to take up a side job as a woman of the night. As it happened, I grew tired of the less-than thrilling Aggie Happy Hour I had been at with boy bff. Not one for patience, I decided to take the situation into my own hands. A mile later I found myself at the home of Courtney and Caroline, where I ate half a pan of brownies and we watched the musical Grey's Anatomy.
  3. With that in mind: margaritas, pizza, and half a pan of brownies is obviously the dinner of champions.
  4. Thoughts on musical Grey's Anatomy? Did anyone else giggle every time Owen opened his mouth to sing? We wached with bated breath in anticipation of Christina Yang's musical debut. I think we were all a little relieved when it never happened. Had she belted out in song, I don't know if I could have ever looked at her the same way again.
  5. Also Grey's related, tiny, barely viable fetuses frighten me.
  6. A large portion of my workday on Monday was spent reading through my "sent" email folder. Oh boy, what a treasure trove that was. So many revelations and embarrassments. For one, I found that I was a much better, wittier writer pre-21. Secondly, it showed me how DIFFERENT I am today. Not fundamentally, but I certainly have grown up and had key life experiences. Not to mention, I completely gave up on what used to be my ultimate career aspirations. Third, I was disgusted to see how long I let a certain effed up relationship carry on. Time/date stamps don't lie, y'all. Fourth, many smiles/giggles were had over reading emails that helped develop a couple of my very closest friendships today.
  7. I am completely food motivated. Sad, but true. Or maybe not so sad? Those that follow me on twitter may recall a certain gem from yesterday that exemplifies this statement. Even my best friends judged me for it. [and no this does not involve any sexual favors, drugs, alcohol, bribery, or anything else remotely illegal]
  8. Ginger boyfriend comes to Houston this weekend. Our schedule is full of food [duh], movies, relaxing times, and several celebrations to partake in.
  9. I really want to make this list go to 10 because I have OCD tendencies and leaving it at some random number such as 8 will make me feel wonky the rest of the day.
You're welcome.

Have a lovely weekend, friends!


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