Monday, December 8, 2014

Unemployment, take two

After working the legal maximum of six months with one company, it was once again time to say goodbye to working life and hello to stay at home girlfriend life. 

My fabulous farewell card

The following is an example of a typical day for me, using a few different days combined for affect. You will either be jealous or pity me. Or a mixture of both. 

6:45 am- Wake up, due to a mixture of jet lag and excitement over what exciting possibilities the day might bring. 
7:00 am- Eat breakfast using granola acquired on your trip home. Are initially very excited, but then frown upon realizing how small a serving size is. You solider on.
7:30 am- Grocery list in hand, journey off to the Vic Market to fill the empty refrigerator. Become quite pleased with self when realizing that you have officially claimed your favorite produce stand. As this is at least the fifth time you have bought produce exclusively from them, you applaud yourself on finding such a good quality, reasonably priced stand. Heart plummets when bill comes to $53 for assorted fruits and veggies. The fact that this would have cost at least $70 at a normal grocery store lifts your spirits slightly.
8:00 am- Peruse a legit Asian market for rice noodles. Are confused by so many options, but ultimately choose one that is under $2 and seems to be made of brown rice.
8:15 am- Begrudgingly head to Aldi, the only grocery store that can successfully turn you into a sullen monster. Leave only with items needed and still feeling human.
8:30 am- Realize that two items you need (jarred jalepenos and more mince meat since for some reason you did not buy enough at the earlier market) can only be procured at Woolworth's, the normal grocery store. Though you are laden with bags and feel like a pack mule, you continue on your journey. All the pain becomes worth it upon the discovery of mince turkey. As you've been searching for this item for the past eight months, it is a glorious occasion that they've suddenly started selling it! 
9:00 am- Arrive back at home feeling like the most productive person in the universe. FaceTime with parents to tell them of all you've already accomplished that day. Avoid questions about when you'll get a job and instead ask to see your cats, whom you've only left 1.5 days ago. 
9:30 am- Send out emails for possible job leads, fervently search for jobs, and lastly even apply for a job. This part of the day serves to remind you of how jobless you are. 
10:30 am- As your recent trip home to the US has packed on the pounds, it is now time to partake in your newly acquired Pure Barre DVD set. Complete a workout feeling like death, but determined to get back to your pre-Australia physique. 
11:30 am- Bust out your new Skinny Taste cookbook and begin preparations on a healthy lunch. Pat yourself on the back for using all locally-sourced produce.
12:00 pm- Eat lunch while sending more emails/watching an episode of Scandal. You once again wonder how Olivia Pope isn't nervous about drinking red wine in her creamy attire. 
12:30 pm- The sun is out, so you better take advantage of it. First is a dip in the pool to soothe your already aching muscles (and so you can later gloat to Will that you did not one, but TWO forms of exercise that day. Three if you count all the walking to and from the market). Second is sun bathing with a good book. You contemplate that being a stay at home girlfriend isn't too awful. 
2:30 pm- Time for some marathon TV watching. American TV programming waits for no expats.
4:00 pm- The mind needs some exercise, so you read the better part of a book about what Area 51 REALLY is. 
6:30 pm- Ask Will why he isn't home yet, then explain you are dying of starvation. Promptly start dinner, also courtesy of Skinny Taste. Your thoughts are haunted by all the things you ate in Texas.
7:15 pm- Your healthy, locally-sourced produce culinary efforts are tested and given two thumbs up, and both parties marvel over the appearance of turkey mince in Australian grocery stores. 
8:30 pm- Wander a few blocks to take in the Christmas projection show. Have conflicting feelings over the fact that Christmas falls during summer in this hemisphere, yet it isn't exactly warm. Should you feel happy that the weather is more like home (or honestly, a little colder) and what you're used to in December, or angry that you still haven't gotten a proper summer? These are the big questions in life.
9:30 pm- Hop into bed and watch your new favorite comedy- Upper Middle Bogan. Feel grateful that at least you aren't secretly adopted with hilarious bogan parents. 

And there you have it.

Anyone want to give me a job? :)


Anonymous said...

Oh the job hunt, never fun best of luck!

Sienna said...

Haha I am actually jealous of you, but seriously, enjoy it. There's nothing quite like marathon TV watching! :)

Kelli Koehler said...

I loved this - especially the part about the granola ;)


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