Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Teenage Wasteland

Sometimes I find myself wondering if I am 22 or 15. Did I miss out on something significant in those formative years that has caused this regression? Here are some glaring signals that lead me to believe that I am an angsty teenager caught in an adult's body:

1. My tendency to obsess over celebrities and form severe crushes on them. For example: when I lived in L.A. in the summer of 2007, I spent many a day at my lowly intern desk concocting scenarios in my head that involved meeting and/or falling in love with the objects my infatuation. These scenarios included, but were not limited to, Patrick Dempsey, Orlando Bloom, and Michael Vartan. For latest celebrity love affair, see gorgeous picture below.


But hey, at least I'm not plastering pictures of him all over my walls and various other flat surfaces. Although, I have allowed for the occasional wallpaper on my computer...

2. While we're on the topic of Rob Pattinson: My complete and utter obsession with all things Twilight related. I was a latecomer to the book series, but once I sunk my teeth (no pun intended) into Twilight, I was finished with the first three books in three days. I impatiently awaited the arrival of Breaking Dawn, and a dear friend can attest that I took it in the car with me so that I was able to read it at stoplights and once even made her drive us somewhere in my car so that I could read. I got so wrapped up in the books that I began to relate things in my daily life to the trials and tribulations of the characters. Were these novels a source of literary excellence? Hell no. But where they entertaining as all get out? Hell yes! And of course, I wanted nothing more than to find a man as perfect as Edward Cullen. What's a little bite on the neck here and there? Things got worse with the debut of the first movie, which I saw five times in theatres. Was it the movie I actually liked, or the ethereal beauty of Rob Pattinson as Edward Cullen. Maybe both? At any rate, I can't stay away from magazines that have even the slightest mention of the Twilight series and I have started a personal vendetta against Kristen Stewart for both her portrayal of Bella and her supposed relationship with Rob. Sick.

3. I recently read every Gossip Girl novel. For those of you who don't keep up with the teen book scene, there are 13 books in the series. I read every.single.one.of.them. I don't know why I feel the need to justify my reading choices but I will do just that in the name of my pride. Before embarking on my 13-GG book rampage, I read two Pulitzer Prize winning novels. Therefore, I felt I was allowed some trashy reading. But who are we kidding? I would have read them anyway; my curiosity always gets the best of me. Like Twilight, these books will win no awards, but they are so full of chaos and scandal that I couldn't put them down. The lives of teenagers as portrayed by movies, TV, and books such as these is amazingly ridiculous and I refuse to believe that today's teens actually behave in such ways (though I'm probably just very naive). In GG's case, combine that ridiculousness with overwhelming amounts of money and you get a veritable freak show. Smoking and drinking from the time they were 15, putting $30,000 on daddy's credit card because you CAN, jetting off without telling parents...whoa. For approximately a week I lived vicariously through all these scenarios, even though I am well outside the target audience of readers. Oh wait...so maybe it's because of books like these that teens get the idea that this kind of behavior is kosher? Ok, cool.



4. I have stuffed animals on my bed. Oh and on some shelves. And there are tons more in the closet that I sometimes feel sorry for and feel as if I should display them somewhere. But wait a second, I'm too old for that. In my defense, three out of five of the animals on my bed are very old and have emotional significance. So...there.

(This is Mr. Bear. Holding to my theory, you can see that I am not very mature.)

Thankfully, I couldn't think of a number 5. I am thankful for this because if I had come up with one, I would have almost considered shipping myself off to a therapist for some psychoanalysis. So for now I will live with my four teen-like symptoms and hope that one day they will calm themselves down.

















1 comment:

Taylor said...

love this...and you

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