Bite Me

I am a loyal person. Loyal friend, loyal pet owner, loyal fan. So when New Moon came out on Friday and several people told me that I might find myself leaning toward Team Jacob, I laughed in their faces. Never. Though I do love dogs and CGI werewolves are rather adorable, I am solidly Team Edward. I will say that the movie version of New Moon did make me sympathize more with Jacob because as opposed to in the book, Bella was not so forthright in her purely friendly feelings for him. But let's leave Bella out of this. She's pathetic, whiny, and makes women look like creatures who bend to the every whim of men. Anyway. Some people made the transition to Team Jacob because of his brand spakin' new physique. Yes, it is impressive, but too obviously so. His body screams I-worked-out-24-hours-a-day-every-day-and-ate-too-many-protein-bars-so-I-wouldn't-lose-my-part-to-a-beefier-stud. Edward's body, on the other hand is more understated and says something more along the lines of I-work-out-pretty-regularly-and-maybe-even-did-a-light-round-of-P90X-but-also-eat-the-occasional-hamburger-and-I-can't-help-that-I'm this-pale-because-I'm-a-vampire. I like hamburgers, vampires, and normal looking muscles.

Give me this any day.