Pauljavier.com

Sometimes you just need a break from your real life, a time to let loose and act as if you have no responsibilities waiting for you at home...i.e. act like you're still in college. So that's exactly what a group of us did this past weekend. Girls River Weekend, as we called it, was a great success.

Friday night found the four of us meeting from different cities in New Braunfels, TX to begin our epic weekend. All intentions of cooking a decent meal were thrown out the window, and we instead found ourselves purchasing turkey dogs and chilli. When on a river weekend, this is the only appropriate dinner there is. Then it was time for college throwback, and many games of beer pong were played. We had a chance to show our skills, or lack there of. All thoughts of jobs, relationships, and bills were forgotten as we were transported back into a simpler, drunker time.

Saturday morning we arose, ready to take on the river. We found ourselves on the Guadalupe with hordes of other river revelers. Let me just say that the river is a great experiment in people watching and could keep one entertained for days. It was decided that we all saw more trashy tattoos in this one weekend than we've all seen in our entire lives. Imagine Jersey Shore+Beverly Hillbillies+a frat party and that's the river.

Now imagine us, a group of five 20something females with three coolers filled with booze, fruit, and summer sausage & cheese. Yes, that was our lunch. We were warned almost immediately that the jello shots we brought for fun were actually considered river contriband and that we should probably dispose of them immediately. With sad hearts, we left our Walmart bag of jello creations on the banks of the Guadalupe. Our great state doesn't want us to litter, yet we were forced to do just that! I know, I know, shame on us. But getting a ticket was not something we were too excited about.

The real excitement began when we reached our first big river dam/rapid. I had the unfortunate experience of being pushed out of my tube, and thus went crashing through some rocks. Bathing suit top down, tears flowing, an attractive and graceful experience overall. What's ironic about this situation is that I was the sober river-goer. Somehow the other 5 million drunk people on the river made it through this just fine. I'm so lucky! However, I do have some pretty sweet battle scars to show for this experience. I'd post the pictures, but I don't think any of you want to see the cellulite on my leg.

Calmer waters brought what every river goer hopes for: river friends. We were drawn to them because of the floating beer pong table that accompanied the group. How it happened, I don't remember, but we somehow weasled our way into their midst. Turns out this all-male group was there from across the country (literally...Hawaii, Seattle, San Diego, Jersey) for a bachelor party...minus the bachelor. Poor guy ended up in the hospital right before the trip, but the rest of them refused to miss out on an epic bachelor weekend after all their plane tickets had already been purchased. Sucks for the bachelor, but it was great for us. Making friends on the river is tantamount to the whole experience, and we certainly picked quality pals. One of them, who introduced himself as "pauljavier.com," was a professional photographer/real estate company owner from Hawaii. That really is his website, by the way.

So the rest of our river time was spent playing with the floating beer pong table and generally causing a spectacle. However, we were nowhere near as entertaining/creepy as the two women we saw who could not stop sucking on each others' toes. See what I mean about the river?

When our float ended, our new friends had quite the hard time parting from us. They begged us to come to Austin that night to play on 6th street. We even got an invite to their penthouse suite. What? Yes. We are careful girls, and of course did not agree to these lavish plans. But sometimes it's nice to have a random group of men invite you to a penthouse! And I mean that in the least creepy way possible.

After a long day, four out of five of us were up for going out to dinner. Our missing friend obviously embodied the spirit of the river more than the rest of us! Since it was 10 pm when we finally got to eat, we attacked our meals as if we'd never seen food before. The river will do that to you.

Like I said, a successful weekend. I love hanging out with my girlfriends, and it's been hard to do that since we're all spread out now. We may have acted a little silly, and sure, maybe we could have done something a little more classy with our weekend, but this was PERFECT. Don't knock the river until you've tried it!