There are some people you just aren't happy for when you hear they're pregnant

Case in point:

When bad hair happens to hot men

All I have to say is...

WTF ROB?!



Love...and HELLA BAD FASHION

First of all, Happy Valentine's Day!

Love to all!

But I already covered this topic last week, so let's move on.

The Grammy's were last night. No, I didn't watch [never do. I'm an Oscars kind of girl].

But the first thing I saw on Yahoo News this morning was an article about the fashion.

One word: HEINOUS.

Now, the Grammy's aren't exactly known for being a "classy" event in which beautiful clothing is on display. Howevever, I am convinced that this year everyone there got together beforehand and decided that they were going to look as wacky and tacky as possible. Then it became a huge competition to see who would inevitably win. Congratulations, everyone, because you all do!!

 

Exhibit A: Rhianna

Um...what? Did you know that your entire dress is not only covered in something that mildly resembles feathers, but that it is COMPLETELY SEE-THROUGH?? Thank goodness your lady parts are covered strategically, but damn. This is not fashion-forward. This is trashy and ugly. Plus, I'm over you, Rhianna.

Exhibit B: Lady GaGa

We, the public, have come to expect outrageous shit from her, so I shouldn't be so surprised about this. But...IT'S AN EGG. IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS INCUBATED BY AN ALIEN BIRD. I mean, when did she sit down one day and think, "Hmm...my dress of meat just wasn't bat shit crazy enough, so I think for the Grammy's I'll arrive in an egg carried by people wearing outfits that make no sense. Yes, that's what I'll do. It wil make a statement." Lady GaGa, you are talented and entertaining, and have a good heart. I can respect that you want to march to the beat of your own drum. But my goodness, this drum is getting too kooky for me to comprehend!

 Exhibit C: Katy Perry

This little number looks like a Victoria's Secret Angel got into a heated battle with one of Selena's [RIP] famed bustiers, cheap fabric from Hobby Lobby, and an old Betty Boop doll. The dregs of this battle then ended up on Ms. Perry/Brand. Like Lady GaGa, Katy Perry also dresses to shock [or confuse]. But Katy Perry is INFINITELY more annoying. And like her BFF Rhianna up there, I am over her. Completely. Plus, OTHER PEOPLE make her songs 50 times better than when she sings them.

I could not bear to dissect more than three Grammy outfits, for my eyes did not enjoy the sensation of being burned by bad fashion.

Celebrity splitsville

Ok seriously, Hollywood. What gives??

My thorough celebrity stalking via Perez Hilton and devout following of People Magazine on Twitter has made me aware of two major celeb-world splits this week.

 

1. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens

I must admit that I abhor High School Musical [surprsing coming from a gal who loves Vampire Diaries and the Gossip Girl books, right?] and almost died when I was once forced to watch it by a former roommate. *cough*Taylor*cough*

So I'm not torn up by this at all. It is of note simply because they were together for about 4 years and were the stuff that teeny bopper's dreams were made of.

Now I'm sure there are masses of cougars and tweens alike who will make it their life's mission to obtain the Zefron by any means possible!

Hudgy bear, I wish you and your nudie pics luck.

 

2. Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds

Why celbrity gods, WHY?

These two were born to procreate, and should have been given the chance to!

Sure, her voice annoys me and her acting is basically the same in everything she does, but deep down I kind of like her.

And he...well, he was just named People's Sexiest Man Alive. 'Nuf said.

But most importantly, I actually liked them together. They were low key and didn't flaunt their romance all over the place like a lot of stars do.
Le sigh.

Who's next? Will and Jada? Tom and Katy?

I should start placing bets on these kinds of things...

Hot mess of the week

I get a kick out of celebs [or in this case, a non-celeb who gets 15 minutes of fame for being trashtastic] being complete hot messes. I find it thoroughly entertaining, albeit sad, when these people who have all the money in the world find it necessary to behave like total vagrants.

This week's honor goes to Amber Portwood of Teen Mom fame. MTV, you are quite adept at bringing out the absolute worst in people. Bravo for creating fascinating television!

But anyway, this chick is OUT OF CONTROL.

Exhibit 1:

You wish you had this tattoo, don't you? I know you're contemplating tearing yourself away from your computer screen to obtain one right this minute.

Beside the fact that this tattoo is tacky, it's CREEPY. Her daughter is actually an adorable little girl who I feel immensely sorry for. This piece of body art makes her look like Satan's spawn. Or maybe it is just trying to portray how the poor tot feels about her wackjob mommy.

Exhibit 2:

Violence! Sure, Gary is an uneducated, overweight slob, but that did not give her the right to go all ninja figher on him in front of their daughter. Girlfriend has even had charges pressed against her for these antics.

I could probably making a running list of all the times Amber has displayed her clearly unstable emotions on screen, but I just don't have that kind of time.

Exhibit 3:

Drugs! While I don't have photographic representation of this, I can tell you that Perezhilton has informed me of her alledged addiction to prescription drugs. Oh, great. Glad she was given custody of her child back!

In conclusion, Amber Portwood, proponent of unsightly tattoos, bouts of rage, and drug addictions, is a certified HOT MESS. May she forever be immortalized alongside Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Ke$ha.

*On a completely unrelated note, did y'all know that Sarah Palin has her very own TV show? This was news to me as I sought out post-work tube entertainment yesterday. I made sure to change the channel before it came on, as I was not in the mood to be horrified by stupidity. But seriously. WHY?!

Dear Britney

Last night I saw Britney Spears in concert. This is not something I ever really expected to do because I have always had a love/hate relationship with the pop megastar. I idolized her as a little girl when "Baby One More Time" came out. Then I hated her for supposedly getting a boob job at age 18. I was a very righteous kid. Along with NSYNC, I made a habbit of hating her and ridiculing her every chance I got by calling her "Booby Spears." Mature, I know. But amidst all this fervent hatred, I never stopped loving her catchy music. Loathe her as I did, I still bought her CDs with my allowance money. My harsh feelings lessened as I got older, and I started to feel sorry for her more than anything. When she finally went cray cray and shaved her head, the constant barrage of stories about her on Perezhilton became a great source of entertainment. Even though she was way off her rocker, I always hoped she'd make a comeback. So after K Fed, two kids, head shaving, driving listlessly around LA, speaking in British accents at gas stations, Osama, and Adnan, Britney is finally back. She even got her killer body back! Or at least 98% of it. There was a SLIGHT muffin top and a TINY pooch on her lower belly, but it made her look like a real girl who just happens to be in pretty damn good shape. It is my new goal to somehow look like her. In conclusion, congratulations, Ms. Spears, for going from being a hot crazy mess to a more or less normal pop star.