Dear Jonas Brothers,
Why is it, that in this world of so many talented musical artists, you three brothers are an international sensation? I cannot read my beloved Perezhilton.com without seeing at least 3 posts about your daily activities. At this moment, I am sick of seeing videos of how brother Joe started bawling during a recent concert due to Camilla Belle breaking up with him, while pubescent girls squealed in the background. Ah, therein lies the answer to your popularity: young girls with questionable taste in both guys and music. Why do they adore you? Because you're Disney wholesome? Because you claim to be saving it for marriage (Britney Spears did the same thing, and we all know she lied about it)? Because you love your mom? Because your songs are full of dribble? Because you're good looking? I'm sorry, but that simply cannot be it, as all of you look like women. So I guess this question of where your international superstardom stems from will continue to be one that perplexes me for all time. In the mean time, I hope your hearing stays in tact from all the high pitched screams that follow you wherever you go. Don't worry, it will only last as long as your 15 minutes of fame.
Addendum: I admittedly was a teenybopper back in the day, worshiping everything Backstreet Boys related. But at least only one of them looked like a woman.